Just thoughts

So I have decided to share my thoughts that I have written.  I haven't written too much at this point and I don't know if I will write everyday, once a week or once a month.  I do have some that I have already written and will copy and paste them.  But forgive the random thoughts.

If I don’t start getting my thoughts down I might go crazy.  It is strange how you can so many thoughts crammed into one brain.  The past 6 weeks have had highs and lows, but mostly lows.  People are so good.  But when your child passes away even the most wonderful people and every good intention cannot heal a shattered heart.  Don’t get me wrong, they help and help to keep you from completely drowning, but your heart is still shattered. 

Caren was all boy.  From day one he was all boy.  He loved sports, hunting, fishing and just being outside.  He was a typical 15-year-old.  He was an emotional roller coaster.  Who knew boys could be like that.  One minute he was happy and content and then you told him “no, you cannot do that today” and wham he was beyond moody.  What the heck?  But I guess he was normal.  He loved me and showed it no matter where he was.  In the dugout or where ever he would come and give me a hug and kiss me on the cheek and say, “love you, mama.”  I didn’t do that, he came like that (and he always saw his dad do that to his mom.)  What an amazing gift my husband gave to me by setting that example.